It is only 9:15 on Monday morning, and already I’ve had an odd week. I was doing my normal MWF routine this morning… get everyone ready for school, stop by the studio to turn on the heat, drop Ally off at Preschool, drop Nick at Elementary school, then off to Sheetz for my large Carmel Vanilla Latte with extra flavor shot and whipped cream (mmmmm…) I was standing in line to pay for my drink (which I didn’t actually pay for.. it was my 7th latte so it was free! Thanks Sheetz!) when an older man behind me taps me on the shoulder. I turn to him, and this conversation begins:
Him: “Hi”
Me: “Um, hi.”
Him: “You don’t remember me?” (panic automatically ensues, because I am always afraid that I’ll run into a customer and won’t remember them)
Me: “Um, you know, I haven’t had my coffee yet- could you give me a hint?”
Him: “JIM ******” (which he yells as if I’m an idiot for not knowing- I’ve blocked his name to avoid public embarrassment)
Me: “I’m sorry Jim. Where do I know you from?”
Jim: “I’m your COUSIN” (which he also says in the idiot tone)
(at this point, this could totally be true. I have a HUGE family on my mother’s side, most of whom I’ve never met)
Me: “Oh! Well, hi! I’m sorry!”
Jim: “Yeah, I can’t believe you don’t remember me. I just saw you at Cathy’s house at Christmas”
(OK… I don’t know a Cathy, didn’t go to her house for Christmas, so now I realize his mistake)
Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, you must have me confused with someone else. I don’t know anyone named Cathy”
Jim: “Oh sure you do. It’s me, JIM!”
Me: (thankfully getting closer to the cashier at this point) “I’m really sorry, Jim. I”m not who you think I am”
(at the register…. whew!!!)
So then I go to pay (or not pay, rather) for my latte and Jim starts complaining to the cashier in front of him that I don’t know who he is even thought I just saw him at Christmas. Now I’m irritated. Not because he’s confused, but because he is SO LOUD and is insisting SO LOUD that my mental faculties are of question. I ignore him.
Jim: (to the cashier) “How else would I know that her name is LORI ******”?” (A HA!!!!!!)
Me: (to Jim) “My name is not Lori” (thinking this will end it– not a chance)
Jim: “Oh it is too. Now you are just embarrassed cuz you didn’t remember me”
Me: “Um.. no. I am not Lori. Never have been. I’m sorry that you got me confused. Take care” (walking away to go to the back of the store to wait for my latte)
..And here is where it gets really odd. Along comes Jim again (Sigh…) but this time he has a younger version of himself in tow. I assume this is his son, who looks a bit older than me.
Jim: “Now look at this girl…”
JimSon: “Hey… Lori!!”
(OMG… idiots breed idiots)
Me: sigh…. “Hi. I’m not Lori”
JimSon: “Hey, it’s me Jimbo” (This name just does not surprise me in the least)
Me: “Sorry, but I don’t know you and as I told him already, my name is not Lori”
Jimbo and his Dad stand beside me and discuss me and why I don’t know them. Why oh why does my latte have to take so long TODAY??? I try to ignore them, play with my phone for a bit, they go to the counter to pick up their sandwiches and continue to discuss me. I take a quick sweep of the store to see if there is anyone around that I know. There is a local police officer that I know that I normally see at Sheetz every morning… where the heck is he today?? No luck. Finally they call my number. I grab my latte and book it towards the door. I hop in my van and lock the doors. As I am pulling out, I see Dumb and Dumber walk out of Sheetz, waving at me. I actually stop for a minute and wonder if I really am Lori and just have a sudden case of amnesia or something. Nah.
But I am still so baffled that two people would not take my word that I was not who they thought I was. Seriously. If someone says “I AM NOT LORI”– wouldn’t you take their word for it?? Yikes.
Well, I hope you all have a less odd day than me!!
Take Care,
Lori (apparently) 
